Saturday, December 24, 2011

No White Christmas, How About White Santa?


This is from Meg and my travel blog when we lived in Indonesia 2005-07:

A couple interesting things to report this month, at least interesting enough for me to write a little something. The first was my turn as Santa Claus for the children of Salatiga (well, some of them). The second was my lecture in Semarang at the University of Diponegoro for a book launching.
I was asked by my good friend Theo to play Santa Claus, and I agreed thinking it would be fun (it was), but it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. On Friday the 1st, I was picked up in the afternoon, taken to our new friends Melanie, Lea, and Ibu Anna’s house to try on the outfit. It was a bit small, the belt was way too small, the beard was falling apart, and the boots were way too small for my feet, but I figured I could pull it off. We set out in the van with me still not really knowing what was going to happen; I thought we were going to a party where I would hang out for an hour or two and talk to kids. Instead what we did was go door to door, with a prearranged list of kids’ houses to visit (they were all students at the same school and members of various Christian parishes). At each house, I was told the child’s name and given a list of things that I was supposed to say to the kids, which included things like “be nice to your sister,” “listen to your mother and father,” “read the bible every day,” “don’t be naughty,” and “don’t poop in your pants” (really, I had to tell a poor, embarrassed kid that!). All of it was in Indonesian, which was a challenge at times. Sometimes the list of things to say was too long for me to remember, so I would have to cheat and look at notes in my palm. I would also give the kids a present, a mug with candy, or if their parents arranged something bigger, I would give them a bigger present. It was mostly the wealthy families that bought the extra presents for their kids.

Coming along were various “elves” who helped, but also two “Pit Hitam” (“Black Pete”). These were two guys with lipstick smeared all over their faces, and they were scary. They literally threatened some of the kids (those who we were told were naughty) that if they were bad, they would come and put them inside their sack, beat them, and throw them in a river. How traumatic for the little kids, I thought. I had mixed feelings about this one… One kid, who we were told was very naughty, cried and cried at the sight of these guys; he knew he was naughty. And I was trying to talk nice to him at the same time. Most of the kids, however, were thrilled, and some weren’t old enough to know it was me wearing a costume. One very cute little girl asked me where my reindeer were (“It’s too hot right now,” I told her) and asked me for Santa’s phone number (“It’s secret”). Very cute.

The reaction from passers by and people we drove by was really interesting. Most Muslims had no reaction or even some disdain for seeing a white guy dressed as Sata Claus driving around. I would have thought that most people would laugh or point or make fun of me, but most sort of ignored it. All in all it was fun, except for the guys scaring the kids part.

It was definitely an interesting experience, and although it was definitely a “look for a white guy to play Santa” thing, I was happy to do it. There are a couple photos posted of me as Santa in the December 2006 Xmas album as well.

A week and a half later, I went to Semarang to give a lecture with two other people for the launching of a book edited by Samuel Huntington on culture and social science at the University of Diponegoro. It was co-sponsored by the US Embassy and the book’s publisher, which made for an interesting event and some people pegged me for a representative of the US government. My lecture was in Indonesian, which went fine, but the moderator, who made this joke when he first met me before everything started, kept referring to me as “Mr. Tukang Cuci” (or “Mr. Clothes-washer” – get it? Lundry, laundry?). I didn’t say anything, but felt like it might have been funny once, but he did it throughout the whole presentation, which was in front of professors and graduate students. I kind of felt slighted or slightly disrespected, not really a big deal, but geez… Of course I couldn’t say anything, so I kept quiet.

The questions were interesting, most directed at me, and some accusing the book of Western bias, which it is, although I pointed this out several times in my lecture (Huntington is a famous neo-con, he wrote “The Clash of Civilizations” And is not particularly well liked here in Indonesia). I felt like I was being held to task for the position of the US government, and, although there was a representative from the US Embassy there, he didn’t speak much Indonesian, didn’t give a presentation, and didn’t seem to follow much of what was going on (in fact he slept through most of the presentations). Later we were fed and I went home.

The next day I came down with amoebic dysentery, and I think it was from the food in Semarang. This was during the hullabaloo of the Russian spy poisoned with Polonium 220, so I thought that maybe someone had poisoned me as a representative of the Great Satan (just joking). A trip to the hospital a couple of days later, some pills, and I was good to go again. Mr. Clothes-washer indeed.

Postscript: The computers at UNDIP gave my flash drive some kind of virus and it wiped out nearly all of the Word files on my drive. Thanks guys!

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